I had eaten a Snickers and enjoyed it, and at 9:54 p.m. I was already thinking about food again, specifically about "stealing" some Loacker wafers from my dad's stash. It only sits there because he has gone off Merci. It was not hunger, and more Snickers probably would not have changed anything, it was simply wanting. When I asked myself what I actually wanted, the honest answer was: anything at all — an orgasm would have done the same job, and back when I still smoked, a cigarette would have. A few minutes later it was gone by itself, without my having eaten a thing.